{/if}
So, Morgan Stanley just dropped its third-quarter numbers, and Wall Street is practically doing backflips in the street. A 45% jump in profit. Record revenue of over $18 billion. They didn't just beat analyst expectations; they took those expectations out behind the woodshed and taught them a lesson they'll never forget.
The stock, offcourse, popped 5% before the market even opened. Everyone's high-fiving. Ted Pick is probably getting a new gold-plated office chair.
And I’m sitting here looking at the numbers, and all I can think is: Are we supposed to be impressed? Are we supposed to stand up and applaud? Because it feels less like a victory for the economy and more like the score from a video game none of us were invited to play.
Let’s get the absurd numbers out of the way. Earnings per share were $2.80 when the "experts" were predicting $2.10. That’s not a beat. No, a "beat" doesn't cover it—that's lapping the field while everyone else is still tying their shoes. Equities trading revenue shot up 35%. Investment banking, the division that helps giant companies swallow other giant companies, surged an insane 44%.
It’s a bonanza. And it’s not just them. JPMorgan, Goldman, Citi... they all "topped expectations." It’s almost like the game is rigged. Is anyone else starting to wonder if these "expectations" are just a ridiculously low bar set on purpose so these guys can clear it every quarter and trigger a new round of bonuses?
This whole spectacle is like a magic trick where you already know the secret. The magician pulls the rabbit out of the hat, and the crowd gasps, but you just see the trapdoor and the bored-looking rabbit. I paid eight bucks for a sandwich yesterday that was 90% bread, but hey, at least Morgan Stanley’s prime brokerage unit is having a record year. Priorities.

The official reason for this windfall? The company line cites "increased activity across business lines," "more completed mergers," and a "higher number of IPOs." That’s the corporate PR-speak for a market that’s become a high-speed casino.
Let's translate that phrase, "increased activity." It means volatility. It means uncertainty. It means the kind of chaotic market shuffling that lets the house skim a fortune off the top while everyone else is just trying to protect their 401k from the next big swing.
Morgan Stanley isn’t building anything here. They aren't inventing a new technology or curing a disease. They are the ultimate middleman, a financial leviathan that thrives by taking a cut of every massive transaction that concentrates more wealth into fewer hands. A 44% surge in investment banking revenue doesn't mean new jobs are being created; it means one corporate behemoth bought another, and a bunch of people are about to get "synergized" right out of a paycheck.
This whole system is a magnificent, self-sustaining engine for the top 0.1%. It's like a perpetual motion machine powered by fees. When the market goes up, they make a killing. When the market goes down and everyone panics, they make a killing on trading volume. What happens when the music from all these IPOs and mergers finally stops? Does the whole thing just seize up, or do they just find a new instrument to play?
So while the talking heads on cable news will spin reports like Morgan Stanley posts massive third-quarter earnings beat - CNBC as a sign of a roaring economy, the reality is that the money is just churning faster and faster at the very top, and for the rest of us...
Look, maybe I'm just a jaded cynic. Maybe this really is fantastic news for America and I should be cheering from the sidelines. Then again, maybe I'm the only one who feels like we're all standing in the rain, watching a parade go by in a glass-domed limousine.
At the end of the day, this earnings report isn't a report card on the health of the nation. It's a receipt. It's proof of purchase for another quarter where the gap between the financial economy and the real economy stretched into a canyon. The champagne is flowing, but its not for you. This isn’t a sign of widespread prosperity. It’s the sound of a very small club counting its money, and they’re getting very, very good at it.